For someone who often says "you hurt my feelings", "I just had a feeling" and "That's just how I feel about it", I am not good at putting my true feelings into spoken words, and especially not written words. Even though the "idea" behind my blog is that it is a diary that is read by people other than me, most of my 'diary' is filled with events and observations, not deep, dark secrets or feelings. Today, I feel like I should express some of my feelings, even if for just a few sentences.
One of my mom's friends, who eventually became my own friend, died tonight. Her name was Kelly. She made amazing food, was hard-working, godly and had a care-free but elegant style that I admired (she reminded me of suzanne somers, I think they were separated at birth). I don't remember when I learned that she was sick, but a few weeks ago, I told my mom that when I arrived in Texas, I wanted to visit Kelly. Unfortunately, I never made it down to where she was being treated. If I had, I would have given her a hug and thanked her for making my wedding beautiful. She prepared all the food and made it look like a million bucks. I would have encouraged her to remain strong and courageous, and to not be afraid...but I never had the chance. I am saddened for the hole that is being left in her daughter's, family's and friend's lives. I know she was greatly loved and will be greatly missed.
Recently, between the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Kelly's death, and other happy & sad events in the lives of my friends, I have often thought about the verses in Ecclesiastes 3:
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
And 12:13, at the end of the book, says this:
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
I know Kelly lived through all the ups and downs of life while fearing God and keeping His commandments. Even though I am crying and cannot sleep, I am happy that this life is not the end for her. Till we meet again Kelly...